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  • Claire M. Burnett

I’m Not Your “Homeboy.”

Updated: Oct 3, 2018

What a Strong Woman Isn’t…An Open Letter to the Guys…

Maybe if I was quieter. Softer. A bit more delicate…if I wear more dresses or put on more make-up…

These are just some of the thoughts that run through my mind before I have to choke hold and body slam satan.

“Tomboy. Tomgirl.”

People will box you up so much that you’ll start to own the labels. It’s easy to forget in the midst of all our diagnosing that whether a woman is “intimidating” is a factor of perception, not female personality.

No. I don’t personally work with children or trade recipes on Pinterest. I don’t watch make-up tutorials, I’ve never seen The Notebook and I don’t consider a salad a meal.

I do prefer beer over wine, Crossfit over Barre Methods and Marvel movies over “Chick Flicks.” I’ll take Keds over heels, finger food over fancy, and physical activity over pampering.

But guys, don’t treat me like one of your boys. Don’t treat any woman like one of your boys!

Even if my personality is relatable, I am not and never will be one of your bros. While I am absolutely equal in value to a man, I am not the same and have no desire to be.

I’m NOT strong like a man; I’m strong like a woman.

She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. | Proverbs 31:17

If you’ve never read Proverbs 31:10–31, I strongly encourage you to read about what Solomon (the wisest man to ever exist on earth aside from Jesus [Bible said it, not me]) considers a noble wife.

There is not a single part of that proverb that describes a weakly woman and there’s more in there than just “charm is deceptive & beauty is fleeting.”

“She is like a merchant ship that brings food from afar. She gets up while it is still night. She buys fields out of her earnings and sets about her work vigorously. She opens her arms to the poor and when it snows, she has no fear for her household, because they’re clothed in scarlet…”

You know what I didn’t read? Here’s what I didn’t read: She gets up early to do her hair and make up. She has no opinion and makes no decisions. She sits at home and waits for her husband. She doesn’t lift a finger, but she looks the part!

Weak and timid does not make me womanly and I don’t need to look dainty to be soft. Even when we don’t fit your stereotype of what a woman should be, you should honor us none the less because of the simple fact that we are.

There are heels and dresses in my closet, makeup & curling irons in my drawers, wine in my kitchen and “Say Yes to The Dress” on my Hulu’s most recently watched list. I still cry when I’m hungry, need huge bear hugs just because, and prefer not to sweat outside of the gym.

But even if I didn’t have these things… don’t consider our similarities license to think of me as one of you.

You cannot honor a hammer if you ask it to do a drills job.

Dear Men: You do not honor us when you call us one of you.

Strong does not automatically equate hard. It does not have to mean stubborn, quarrelsome, or condescending. And true strong women know that they gain nothing by dehumanizing or devaluing God’s men.

The strength of a woman is meant to be a blessing, not a burden. A gift, not a curse and an asset, not competition.

I am a woman who is strong and soft at the same time; a warrior in my own right and fully after the Lord’s heart. Please, do not attempt to dim my glory if you are still trying to understand my strength.

With love,

Your Broken Stereotype.


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